


Is It Wrong To Let Me Love You

by CherryK



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Break is also not blind, Break is not dead, Love Confessions, M/M, set at any point before Break turned blind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-11 15:45:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2073870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherryK/pseuds/CherryK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reim loves Xerxes, and Xerxes loves Reim... right? The white-haired man struggles with himself and tries to deny his own feelings, until Reim finds the courage to give him a piece of his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is It Wrong To Let Me Love You

**Author's Note:**

> This didn't turn out the way I thought it would... I originally wanted to include less dialogue, but my fingers just kept typing. I needed some fluff after all the stuff that's happened to my precious OTP.

“Look at me.”

Xerxes willed himself to stay controlled, but he couldn’t hold back the shiver running through him at the sound of his soft voice. It would be so nice to look away, to let things stay the way they were. If it came down to the worst, nobody would get hurt that way. At least not as much. He knew the cost of a decision made with precipitation, was painfully aware of how long it took for the wounds to heal.

And yet he found himself unable to resist. He let his gaze trail upwards, over the neatly pleated uniform, the white cravat, skin that failed to disguise a faint blush, until it finally – hesitantly – met kind, amber eyes.

“You don’t have to pretend.”

Tender hands reached up to caress pale cheeks. Xerxes’ breath hitched at the touch. His instinct to turn, run and leave it all behind grew stronger every second. He wanted to save what they had, whatever that even was. He had promised himself to never fall for anyone. It was too dangerous; all he could ever possibly cause someone was pain and loss – never anything as delicate and … as love or comfort. That promise had been engraved deep within his mind for the past ten years, and now the one who had been by his side through all this time, the one he had witnessed turning from a scrawny, shy boy into a handsome, compassionate man, was threatening to make him break it. He wanted him, could no longer deny it, but his heart was fighting a war against itself.

With a motion that was supposed to be firm, he directed the other’s hands back to his sides. His own hands were shaking and he could feel his heart pounding heavily in his chest. It all felt wrong, so very wrong, and he couldn’t, he wouldn’t-

Before he was able to finish the thought, Reim had captured his lips with his own. He left his hands at his sides as though part of him was also fighting with himself, wanting to follow Xerxes’ silent orders to stay away and at the same time refusing to comply. The kiss didn’t last long, but it held the longing of a man who was denied his greatest desire. Xerxes’ heart seemed to freeze for a moment before resuming the pace of its beating even faster than moments ago. Why-  
When Reim pulled away, amber eyes spoke of regret.

“I- I’m sorry, I don’t know what…” With a barely noticeable shake of his head he turned to leave, his steps slow and heavy.  
Xerxes’ mind was racing. A much younger Reim appeared in his mind’s eye, walking away from him with exactly the same posture as the present one. He had pushed him down and yelled at him that day, even though all the boy had done was care about him. For all those years, from the very beginning on, he had cared about him. Xerxes started to move towards the other without really realizing that he was moving at all; time seemed to have slowed down to a crawl. His feet moved reluctantly, unwillingly at first. ‘ _Wrong’_ , his mind screamed, but he just couldn’t watch him leave like this, not after everything they had gone through, not after…  
He broke into a run and, catching up with him, he grabbed his sleeve, forcing him to a halt. Reim’s entire body seemed to tense at the sudden contact. If Xerxes hadn’t been wearing his gloves, he would have been able to see his knuckles turn white from holding on with such force. He clung to the sleeve like a man drowning in the sea.

“Don’t go.” His voice was barely audible. Reim turned his head sideways to look at him from the corner of his eyes. Pain was still evident in his gaze. Xerxes took a deep breath that would, hopefully, clear his mind. It didn’t. “You know, I don’t… pretend.” He paused. Confessions had never come easy to him. “I… I’m scared, Reim.” The other finally moved to face him fully, pain now unmistakably mixed with worry.

“Scared? Why… what of?”

“I don’t know, failing, again. Tell me, at what point in my life have I ever managed to protect the ones I care about, huh? You’re not safe with me.“

Reim’s expression hardened. “Wait, _that_ is what you’re so anxious about? Me getting hurt because of us… you and I being together? I assure you, if that was the case I would have died years ago.” Reim’s voice grew louder. Xerxes could tell he was about to be lectured.

“Listen, Reim, I-“

“I would gladly lay my own life into your hands if it came down to it, because I trust you to keep it safe. I trust you more than anyone, you should know that, actually, you’ve known me for long enough!”

“I have _killed_ people, Reim. I don’t save lives.” Xerxes built up his defenses, the volume of his own voice rising as well now.

“Don’t you dare dig that up again now, idiot, I thought we had settled this! I don’t give a damn about what happened decades ago; I care about what is happening here and now.”

Xerxes took another breath, preparing to counter once again, desperately trying to get his point across – and was promptly cut off again. Reim was clearly agitated. The blush had returned to his face and spread, now not only reddening his cheeks, but also his ears. “Don’t even start to blame it on the child-of-misfortune-nonsense! Let _me_ tell _you_ something instead: Red is just a color like any other and I wouldn’t want the color of your eye to be any different, because I think you’re- it’s beautiful the way it is!”

“You think I’m …” Xerxes’ eye had gone wide and it looked like somebody had suddenly knocked all the air out of Reim as it slowly dawned on him what he had almost said just then.

“W-why, yes, I do! Now, a-are we done here or do you need any more proof that I don’t care who you used to or used not to be?!” he sputtered, eyebrows furrowed and cheeks glowing.

“You believe in me.” It was really more of a question rather than a statement.

“Yes, of course, I always have!”

“You really want to take the risk.” It was more of a statement this time. He sighed and finally, _finally_ looked at him again. He wanted him. His heart was still fighting a war against itself. But maybe it wasn’t at all _that_ wrong.

“For god’s sake, Xerxes, just-“

That impatient response was all he needed. He knew Reim well enough to take it as an honest ‘yes’. Standing on his toe tips he placed gloved hands on either side of the other’s face, pressing his lips to the other’s gently, then pulling him into an embrace. His head rested on his shoulder, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. Reim released the breath he had been holding. A smile made its way onto his features and he held the smaller man close to him.

“You complete moron, Xerxes Break.” He paused, savoring the serenity of the moment. “Look at me.”

This time Xerxes didn’t hesitate. Red met amber and for a short time stood silent, admiring one another.

“You _can_ do better than that, right?” Reim broke the silence with a sly grin, referring to the chaste kiss only minutes prior.

Xerxes pouted. “Was that a challenge, Reim-kun? Because I do believe you will find yourself in no position to keep up.” With those words he tugged at his collar to pull him down to his height and initiated a third kiss, finally laying his soul bare to the one who would go through hell and back with him.

In that moment Xerxes Break was still not convinced that nobody would get hurt. He knew how long it took for the wounds to heal. But he was sure that with Reim by his side things could turn out to be alright. He didn’t have to be scared.


End file.
